Hi just to answer the question about the Britain day! I really agree that this could help to bring the community spirit back, im 36yrs old and i still have memories of queens celebrations and the whole community getting together and creating a massive party in our local park where there were competitions, wtc. I really miss this kind of spirit and think that the children today do not have much respect in the way of community! huhh, is all your get if you mention this to them, to really make things easier for our country and to bring back respect, i think that along with the above the general bobby on the beat, getting to know the local children and making friends with them, will bring back some of the respect. I also believe that parents should not be so quick to defend there child if he/she has done wrong, when we were kids, and someone saw us up to no good they would tell you off and report to your parents and you sure wouldn't do it again, these days i watch these teens,drinking and smoking from 10yrs, smashing peoples fences and laughing, playing chickhen, which now involves running up the bonnett of a car over the roof and down the boot, without getting caught, a young youth i saw doing this gave me the biggest mouthful of abuse id ever heard and having two teens myself im fully aware of the language they all use today although, being old fashioned in the way i bring my children up is as i see it these days a vice, treat others as you would expect to be treated, this was the moto i brought them up on and both have been physically and mentally bullied because of this, they wouldn't stand up for them selves, and let people walk all over them, so now to my horror ive had to allow them to join the rest and say to them that when they are out with there friends that, they should treat them in the same way, so that they fit! better and this has really worked for them, they are now very popular, but i have to watch their behaviour and hate every second of it, although this was the only way for them to be able to live a life in this day, i think that this is disgusting that this has come to this, young girls spitting! acting like the yobo boys! I am very lucky that both my girls, are very sensible and they know that this behaviour is unacceptable so they make sure that they do not turn into these monsters, they do things my way at home and when we are out together and the 'fit in way' when they are with their mates. The stories they tell when they get in about what some of the kids are up to really scare me, for i wonder what our granchildren are going to have to go through to fit in to todays culture? Parents of troublsome kids, shout and want to fight anyone who dares to shout at their kid, even if hes just smashed a window in your car/house,or ran all over your car, everyone is now scared to report to parents their childs behaviour as you never know what their reaction will be. If all parents of troublsome kids were made by law to have parenting lessons and refresher courses throughout their childs development, im sure that these kids would not be so bad, they just need a direction in life, and to be taught about right and wrong shown how to be compassionate, how to respect, half of these kids dont even know what these words mean.
I brought my children up, with lots of hugs and kisses and told them many times a day that i loved them, iv always guided them to make their own decisions(so that they will know how to make informed decisions and choices) this i feeel is skill that will see them through their lives with skill.
The one thing i feel is important is to atually listen to them, hear what they are saying and discuss things even if you think their feelings are over sensitive,you must remember that even as adults we have feelings that are irrational and they confuse us, and make us feel awful, a child has no idea how to express these feelings, so they react in distructive ways, to express how they are feeling, i think that if this can be recognised before the angry stage and ask them what they are upset for? Remember that they may not be able to tell you, so you could explain names of feelings and give a brief discription of how they feel, this will help them to identify what they are feeling and to express it properly, now no matter how much attention we give our kids, they always feel left out,or that another is more important than they are, well the best way i have found to deal with this is to tell them all the feelings you have about them, how much they mean to you, and i dont mean just say 'you mean the world to me', because to a child they are just words, tell them what your heart does when they smile at you how it makes you feel warm and full when they cuddle you. This way they will feel completely loved and it will dispell any feelings of being left out. Explain that each child is an individual and like everybody each person needs different ways to be taught and looked after and that this is why things seen different for one than an other, like one child may take no notice of being grounded but hate knowing that they have upset you so much you do not want to talk to them for a while, where another will hate being sent to their room, and it could be that these are the ways in which they must be told off, but that just because one got grounded and one got sent to their room for a short period of time, this does not mean that they are loved any different its just what works best to make them learn their lesson. I know with my children this really worked and now they are weell aware that different punishments are set for each of them because thats what works best for them. When a child knows that the reasons you are doing anything even saying 'no' that their is reasons for this then i have found that they accept things easier, and just get on with it,rather than reacting angrily and ignoring those rules set.
Well i think that i have rambled on long enough now!
Just a recap, bobby on the beat, allowing the community to report your child to you without fear of violence, parenting lessons, that are refreshed, and the Great Britain day, all the community gathering together to make up a street party, involving all the kids, like tidying the streets ready for it, will show them how important it is to live somewhere that is clean. I really believe that a mixture of all of the above would make things alot better for everyone and the country would be a lot happier for it!
SO FOR GREAT BRITAIN DAY! YES YES YES!!!!!!